The End of the Year

The end of the year is my favorite—and most hated—time.

No matter what, I realize that I am an inadequate teacher. I have brilliant, intensely thoughtful and driven students who, because I didn't have the time or energy, are still confused about clauses, phrases, direct objects, and other things I was responsible to teach them. They're scared about their Final Exam.

They don't need to be. They'll be fine. Even still, I'm left thinking of how much more I should have taught them, of all the papers they should have written and I had no energy to assign, of so many things.

I walk out feeling like a miserable failure.

On the other hand... sometimes we get to see the bright points. Undergraduate Awards were yesterday, and I (like every year) had the chance to name two students. I chose RC and BB... the former had never set foot in a regular education classroom before this year, and the latter was considering dropping out of Honors to a lower level.

RC is not the best student academically in the room; however, s/he doesn't need to be. Despite an IEP three miles thick and a host of issues, s/he has a higher grade than half the students in the room because s/he works harder and comes after and re-does the work far more. This is a student who walked in the first month and asked (in all seriousness) "Are we gonna have to work today?" and today thinks nothing of coming after and busting butt until long after every peer has gone home to play some video games.

The smile on that kid's face—and the massive learning experience that took place when I was able to tell him/her why s/he won—was priceless.

The other one, BB, came today. This is a student who was not doing well in the first quarter, and wanted to drop—and I said no way, that s/he belonged in that room. In many ways, I felt bad about that, as the poor kid looked like s/he wanted to die through most of the year.

The card came in today. It's a bit self-aggrandizing, but it's also the student's own words, and says so powerfully why this (frequently frustrating and agonizing) task is so worth it.

Dear Mr. H—,

Because of you, I believed in me. Back in September, I was ready to drop Honors English. You pushed me to stay because you believed in me. You told me that I was where I belonged. I am so grateful to you for that. You saved me from a big mistake. In these past nine months, I have learned more than I have in any other English class.

I know you joked about how I looked like I didn't want to be there, but it was actually my favorite class. Thanks so much for the knowledge you gave me. And, most of all, I thank you for the confidence you helped me to develop in myself. I hope our paths cross again senior year!

Sincerely,
B

P.S. Sorry for the handwriting lol.

Right. So I'm going to go be grateful that I get to do what I do... and hopefully express that with the death of billions of tiny animated bad guys... assuming someone's internet connection doesn't suck.

On Blogging

One of the most interesting and complex facets of starting a blog is the sudden inability to write, or even form interesting, organized thoughts of any kind. Someday, somehow this blog will be filled with knowledge, witticism and snarkiness... Maybe tomorrow.

There once was a squirrel...

Actually, there were two squirrels. Or people. This metaphor is going to get messed up, so go with it. Anyway, these squirrels had a number of things in common, including a never-ending desire for coffee, a macabre interest in Macbeth (and theater in general), and a firm conviction that, when the apocalypse came... they were gonna make it.

 First, however, they were going to write a blog... because, well... why not!

So this is the inaugural post of two travel-loving, theater-obsessed, education-endevouring individuals off on a crazy adventure of blogging, snarking, and otherwise amusing themselves—and hopefully, contributing some value along the way.

Enjoy!